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[dum_spiro]

((OOC: Set in The Walking Dead TV canon, spoilers for Season 5, Episode 1. All are welcome, if you're not canon familiar this is a zombie-overtaken version of rural Georgia, outside Atlanta.))

***

[The smoldering, overrun compound that used to be Terminus is left behind as Carol jumps the fence and lets herself out, taking advantage of the heavy blanket flopped over barbed wire that Rick's group must have used. She ignores the screams of those still living and the inhuman growls of walkers as they feed themselves into a frenzy. It might seem cruel of her, if one was blissfully unaware of the goings-on inside those fences just before the flames and rampaging began.]

[A brief glance at the surroundings, assessing the footprints and parted underbrush (she picked up a few tracking skills... here and there... ) and quickly she determines which way they went. Carol was quite serious when she told Tyrese she has no intention of staying, but first she has to find them. Make sure her efforts were worth it and they all got out, and most importantly reunite Rick and Carl with Judith, Sasha with Tyrese. So she goes, stomach churning despite how calm she'd felt while unleashing destruction on Terminus and its twisted population.]

[She hasn't quite let go of the hope that she won't have to leave, but she's prepared to.]

[Her face and hair are caked with red clay, and she's wearing clothing covered in entrails -- not just spatter, but as though she rolled and splashed inside a fresh, open corpse. In one hand is an automatic rifle, in the other a crossbow. She looks like she's been through a brutal war.]

[She has. She won.]

Comments

[dealt_hand]

[ Officer Friendly might, he tries real hard to pretend Merle is one of them. Most of the rest of them don't know enough to hold what she did against her. He gets up, stifling a cough. ]

Let me get that, [ he says, nodding at the bow. It's as close to being his as hers, no time to argue about the will when they don't know if there's a body. ]

What about the cavalry?

[ She must have seen them, whoever attacked. It'd be good to have a little warning if they've left the all too literal frying pan for the fire. ]

[dum_spiro]

[Carol hesitates, visibly, but in the end she hands over the crossbow. Merle might be a sleaze but he does care about Daryl, and it's unlikely he'd run off with the thing until they find him. So, fine, if it'll get them moving, he can hold the thing.]

No cavalry. [No elaboration as she turns to start walking. It's not that Carol wants to avoid claiming credit for the attack that brought down Terminus, it's that her priority is on taking note of some snapped twigs in the low brush, a few shuffling footprints, to ensure she's still on the right track.]

[Not too distant a second is rising anxiety about the reaction she may get when she finds the people she's seeking. Sure she saved them, but she didn't do it so Rick would allow her back with his group; she did it because, simply, it's what she does for her family. If she ends up on her own after all she still won't regret it because they're alive.]

[Besides, she owes Merle no explanation and he doesn't owe her any thanks.]

[dealt_hand]

[In his absolutely minimal defense, Merle is marginally less of a sleaze than he used to be. Daryl's long since made it clear he ain't gonna budge, and if Merle doesn't want to lose his brother, he's got to play nice. Either way, there's no question about his loyalties in this instance.]

No shit?

[He slings the bow over his back and follows along beside her, keeping his eyes on the trail. He'll pipe up if she makes a wrong turn.]

Now you don't mean to tell me you did all that on your lonesome.

[Spill it, lady, who're you working with? Because he does not believe for a moment that she managed that without help.]

[dum_spiro]

[Is this about to be a debate as to whether Carol had it in her? Because she could really do without one right about now, she's got a stomach full of rocks and a baby to reunite with her father and brother in spite of it.]

[A few steps pass in stony silence before she finally decides, forget it. He'll believe her or he won't, it's not really relevant to why she came here or what she needs to do next.]

Just taking down the gates and some of the guards. [She never really found Rick and Daryl and the others after all, but she knew they'd take care of their own.] And a woman who tried to interrupt. The herd did the rest.

[dealt_hand]

We-ell,

[he drawls, stretching the word and sucking his teeth thoughtfully to punctuate it. Does he believe her? Honest, he's not sure. Could just be. He's got the bad habit of thinking of Carol the way she used to be-- mousy and under her husband's thumb.]

Ain't you just as cold as a witch's tit,

[he mutters, though there's something weirdly complimentary. He's impressed.]

[dum_spiro]

[Merle Dixon, always the classy intellectual. Beyond vague disgust with his simile, Carol is torn between being mildly insulted and mildly proud. She's not regretful of her actions so that prohibits her from feeling upset or particularly pleased about it; all her emotions are somewhere in a thin patch of center because she really had little choice if she wanted those captured to survive.]

[It's just what had to be done. That's how this world works. Of all the things she's done in the last ten days to be ashamed of, devastated over, the death of some murdering cannibals doesn't even make a dent.]

You know what they were doing in there? [Her tone probably doesn't do much to disprove his assessment of her coldness.]

[dealt_hand]

[She's full of surprises. Could just be Carol's snapped, and that's interesting at least. She might not be the mouse she once was but even so, there's a world of difference between growing a backbone and growing the balls to get your hands that dirty. Shit, no one in Rick's group gets their hands that dirty. That's why Merle doesn't fit in.]

Heard enough I'm glad I didn't stick around for dinner.

[dum_spiro]

[Don't remind her of what Rick's group doesn't do, it's a sore subject.]

The woman I ran into tried to tell me that they started out as just what the signs said, then a group came and... took advantage. Tortured them, the women especially. So they took revenge against them and anyone else who came along. [Not exactly verbatim but that's what Carol got from it. A load of BS if she ever heard it.] They had it coming.

[It really is that simple. If Sophia and Lizzy and Mika don't get to live in this world then neither do people like that.]

[dealt_hand]

[Hey, lady, he's on your side.

As disturbing as that thought is for a million reasons.]

You won't hear me complainin'.

[He's pleased as punch, believe him, to be off the menu.]

Just gotta catch up and we'll be one, big happy family again.

[dum_spiro]

[Sure. One big, happy family. She'll show up and they'll know she saved them and there'll be hugs and forgiveness and they'll all go on their merry way. Absolutely.]

[Carol says nothing. It's a very sharp, cutting silence; she's saying quite a lot within it. Fear, resentment, overwhelming grief... and, if you listen hard enough, resignation. But onward she walks.]

[dealt_hand]

[Shee-yit, he's just trying to make light of his little brother's mommy issues.]

[For all the dumb shit that comes out of his mouth, Merle's not stupid. He knows a pregnant pause when he hears it, and in spite of how fast things've been moving the past couple weeks, he knows when something's up. That silence stretches out a long while, and when he breaks the silence his tone is conversational, but notably more serious.]

You gonna tell me what we're walkin' into?

[If Rick and his fellas are gonna be greeting 'em with weapons drawn, he'd like a little warning.]

[dum_spiro]

[Specifically? Not unless she has to. But generally, she supposes he as a right to know.]

I don't know if I'll be staying with them. I haven't been since before the prison fell. [Make of that what you will, Merle. Or continue to ask deeply personal questions, she supposes, would be the other option.] But it shouldn't be dangerous. I just need to tell Rick where to find the baby. [If it weren't for that, who knows if she'd have it in her to try and approach them?]

[dealt_hand]

Huh, [he says, mostly to himself,] Figured she got et.

[Be a right shame, he guesses, but that's a hazard of the world they live in. Merle has no illusions about the likelihood of anyone surviving, least of all their little mascot.]

Guess it ain't my business, what you did to get yourself outta his good graces.

[Except his tone suggests it very much is his business, thanks. Hell, if he's one of them, the way they all try to say it is, then the way he sees it an explanation is the least of what she owes him.]

[dum_spiro]

[Oh, she quite gets his point, and it earns him a sidelong glare that might be more intimidating if it weren't cut by being completely emotionally exhausted. She owes HIM? Who just saved whose ass, back there?]

[If he were the other Dixon brother, then she'd owe him an explanation. An apology perhaps, even if she still feels her actions were the right call at the time. Protecting the group has to come first, but she is sorry, so sorry, that it had to be that way. That she couldn't tell him. That she couldn't say goodbye.]

No, it isn't. But it's not a secret. [Not anymore. She hates what she did but she's not about to deny the truth. And anyway that's hardly the sin weighing heaviest on her mind right now.] I killed two people to try and prevent the sickness from spreading through the prison.

[dealt_hand]

[He barks a laugh at that, sharp and short.]

Too little too late, sweetheart,

[he answers, maybe just a little touch of bile creeping into his tone. He still ain't well and he knows it; living through that flu, he's not inclined to fault anyone for trying to keep it contained.]

No wonder you look like you're marchin' to the chair. Sheriff Rick don't take kindly to puttin' down the livin', less he's the one doin' it.

[dum_spiro]

[Carol really, really hates to admit it, but Merle has a point about the double standard. A resentment she didn't have until after Rick claimed he couldn't trust her with his children. Given how things went with Sophia, those words cut her deeply.]

I had to try. [And it was worth the try, she feels. How many could have been saved if she'd succeeded? And they would have, likely, died even had she not stepped in...]

[Those are rationalizations, and Carol knows it. But she has to feel like it was for some reason, some good purpose, that she didn't kill two innocent people and give up her only family for nothing.]

[dealt_hand]

Sure you did.

[He's not being sarcastic, though she might take it that way, just out of habit. He so often is. Merle's got a little sympathy for the position she finds herself in, here; he's killed too many men ever to be trusted. Don't matter, even if he wanted to turn over a new leaf.]

Daryl know 'bout it?

[Could be a chance his baby brother'd follow her into exile, maybe. If so... well, that matters more than how Merle feels about her killing sprees.]

[dum_spiro]

[Another few beats of silence. That is, though not the exact question she's been asking herself, the heart of the matter. Whether Daryl would fight for her, or turn his back. She couldn't, and wouldn't, blame him for the latter, she'd decided, but it would still hurt like hell.]

[She absolutely hates that Merle can probably tell just how much that bothers her.]

I imagine Rick told him.

[dealt_hand]

[No lie, if Daryl chooses her over the infamous capital-fucking-lettered Group, Merle's gonna be just a bit put out since his attempts to compete haven't gone so hot. He thinks, maybe, he can deal with it, though.

No question he's going if Daryl goes.]

Guess we're gonna find out.

[One big, happy family, eh?]

[dum_spiro]

[To Carol's mind, Merle sounds amused by the prospect which is not improving her mood. Hell if she'll give him the satisfaction of showing it, however.]

You didn't see any other survivors? [Not that she'd be eager to take them under her wing necessarily, but it would be good to know if there's another group traipsing around.]

[dealt_hand]

Ain't seen anyone but one'f the fellas who nabbed me,

[he says, with a grim satisfaction that makes it plenty clear the state that fella was in. That gun came from somewhere, after all.]

Had our buddies locked up in a cattle car, far's I could tell.

[He'd have found a way to get them out. Really, he would have. He's sure of that.

Really.]

[dum_spiro]

[The way he says 'our' sets her protective instincts prickling. He's not entirely wrong though, which keeps her quiet on the matter.]

And their stuff on display in other rooms. Weapons on one table, other things on another. Stuffed animals. Like their own personal store. That was beside the freezer. [Those rooms were one of the things that made her decide to set the walkers on that woman who tried to stop her, rather than kill her outright.]

[dealt_hand]

[Come to think of it, Carol, your kill total's probably creeping past his pretty quick.]

Huh.

[It almost sounds like a laugh, but it's not; there's a definite note of disgust in his voice. Shit makes Woodbury look like Sesame Street, and the truth is some of what they pulled for the Governor, he never quite felt right about it. He did it, but that don't mean he liked all of it. The prison folks, he figures they wouldn't believe him, so why talk about it?]

You know for sure they made it out?

[He's got to ask. He didn't see, but if she did, it'd help settle him.]

[dum_spiro]

They made it out. [Her tone is almost defensive in its certainty.] Just before I blew the propane I saw them take Rick, Glenn, Daryl, and Bob and four others into one of the rooms but they weren't there when I passed through later.

[dealt_hand]

Good.

[Not that he was seriously entertaining the alternative possibility, but... Shit, it's his kid brother, if anything happened, yeah, he'd blame himself.

For a minute or three they just walk while he mulls it over, but let's face it, Carol, leaving you alone is a little too close to being nice. Merle Dixon never met a wound he couldn't rub salt in.]

Guess they're lucky Rick cut you loose when he did.